The Midnight Swim

The Midnight Swim

Oh glorious day! My cinematic wish came true! Director Roland Emmerich was put on trial for crimes again humanity? No dear reader – but that would brighten even the gloomiest of days. A film director said she loved me…IN THE THEATER! Now naturally this is a bit of...
The Babadook vs. The Orphanage

The Babadook vs. The Orphanage

Rabble! Rabble, rabble! Airman Xley hasn’t reviewed anything in over a week! Rabble! I know, I know – my lack of reviews didn’t help your already depressed week of rain and disappointment. This is what happens when yours truly sees all the ‘big’ movies early and...
Call Girl of Cthulhu

Call Girl of Cthulhu

As you all probably know by now, I happen to have a soft spot for both hopeless romantics and the victims of unrequited love. Sometimes it’s as fleeting as love at first sight in the supermarket. Other times it’s being enchanted by the escort girl who’s fucking...
It Follows

It Follows

Oh hey Darlin’. How have you been? Oh you’re just calling to get some movie advice? Well, of course! Oh you’re going on a date this weekend? That’s cool. With some guy named Billy? Well, why doesn’t he pick the movie? Oh you say he isn’t the least bit opinionated...
Spring

Spring

Can you believe it dear reader? My wish actually came true today! I actually saw an original movie with decent performances and I want to shout it from a mountain! Spring is here! We’ve made it through the frozen wasteland of cinema that is the first quarter of 2015!...